Feel Good!

The days seem very shiny and hopeful after 21 Feb 2011 where my STPM result came out.
I am teaching Form 4 students mathematics every Monday night in Sri Nibong Tuition Center. Some of the them used not to pay attention somehow in my class. Perhaps I look like a student rather than a teacher.haha~
However, I still help them by guiding them how to solve the math problems which are very annoying and boring to them. This became my job.
Last night, as usual I teach them at Monday night. The air conditioner, old marker pan and dirty white board were still playing their instrumental roles in the small class. But there were something different. They all turned up in my lesson without being late.
It was what really shocked me first. I was pretty sure that they knew I have got a good STPM result cus I know Mr and Mrs Teoh would spread the good news to the students.
Teach..teach..teach..No one sounded disrespectful.
Before I finished teaching, one of the students voiced out something like : 'teacher, how could you improve your language?'.
I turned to him curiously,wondering how much he knows about me.
I held the marker pen with both of my hands and started to talk to them informally.
I realized that Sir has ever shared with them something about me before.
At the end of my lesson, the students shared about their problems that influence them from being hardworking in the class. Some of them wanted to have a change in their life. It sounded great indeed.
In order to get them ready for the examination, we decided to have revision tomorrow night.
I liked the way they talked to me and listened to me last night because it made me to feel greatly respected. The feeling was great and indescribable. I liked the way they dismissed last night, they joked to each other before leaving by saying :'ei..change change!'. Even thought that might seem like a joke rather than a encouragement, but I sincerely hope they really help themselves to improve.
Wish them all the best in future^^

( for those who have ever helped me to improve myself, I give thanks to each of everyone of you sincerely! )

Thanks giving

Time flies as usual, neither speeds up nor slows down.
And here I am, writing my post after a few days I received my STPM result.
Seriously, I give thank to God wholeheartedly. He is really...awesome!
Bible said : God use ordinary person to do his extraordinary plan.
I think I have done an extraordinary thing just a few days before. I got an excellent STPM result which has made my parents being proud of his son-me.
I hope the Lord in heaven would also feel being glorified.^^
I have never thought that one day I will achieve something big like this. Maybe, other people may find it reasonable, but ...it is a really big change in me just in these several years. I just can give thanks to him and praise him.
21/2 was the day I received my STPM result and also the last day for my dad to do radiotherapy. I wish that he will never get into the stupid radiotherapy room and being scanned by the stupid X-ray machine after that.
Thank God.For everything I have now, I give thanks to you!^^

Be still

It has taken me quite a long time to get rid of the habit of getting upset.

I have been involved in a complicated problem happened among my classmates last year. There was a classmate knowing nothing about the problem. For some purposes, I intended to talk with them. But they rejected me by saying that "sometime it is good to know nothing instead of everything." I was speechless of his opinion. Now, I could understand fully what he wanted at that time. He wanted to be irresponsible and free of the trouble. He wanted to live out of burden.
Sometime, being responsible is not an enjoyable stuff for a normal person. I have frequently got into the state of weariness in such situation I am having now. why? Because I am now responsible of this situation. The more I get responsible, the more I get worried and burdened. At the time, I couldn't withstand the pressure, I would blame in secret and I have ever thought to escape from that. I blame God! What on earth asked me to be responsible of such suffering situation! I was unsatisfied of the change that He gave me after F6 indeed. Why?
I kept thinking why everyday since I got responsible of that. Harboring the dissatisfaction especially at night time. The school days were nice and wonderful. I never felt in pressure on studying actually. I read bible and praise the Lord almost every night at the period. But somehow I feel in high pressure at home, I had stopped praying and even singing praises to Him in my bathroom. Cus I don't understand why.
I kept asking even though I know that knowing why couldn't really help me to get this situation better. I just wanted to blame showing that it is unfair.
Time flies. I got the answer...no...It's inspiration.
I read the book written by Nick Vujicic. I realized and believe that there must be a purpose for this problem happening though I don't really know about that.
Whatever problem happens, you just pray and praise.(believe that God has his own almighty plan beyond our expectation to show his mighty power and love.)

With this beautiful reason,I will Go with FAITH,PEACE,JOY,HOPE and LOVE^^
cus Bible says, Be Still and know that I am God.

Will be blessed.

Few days ago, I have watched GoodTV which has successfully inspired several times when I was in bad mood.

A sermon given.
A story was given to show how God bless people.
Spider is a good and smart hunter among the series of insect.
Its web is sticky and acts as an useful weapon for spider to hunt.
I have seen a scorpion being hunted by a spider in National Geography. 1st, scorpion unwittingly got stuck in the sticky web. It tried to get away of the web but finally it's whole body got wrapped up. The spider got itself slowly closer to the scorpion and injected poison in the scorpion's body.(to paralyze the scorpion) After several minutes, spider only got extra closer to the scorpion and brought it into spider's hole.

A question given. Why doesn't the spider get stuck by its own web?
This is because the feet of sniper produce oil which helps it to walk on the web without being stuck.
God bless this spider by giving it the ability to produce oil.

God bless everything in the world. He love His creation especially human.
I will be blessed. I believe! Hallelujah!

please help, Lord!

Thank God...
I was not in high pressure while I was studying Form6. I quite enjoyed the life in HSBM.
Thank God again...I am in high pressure in my family.I have encountered a lot of problems.

1st.
I am having bad relationship with my younger brother.
This caused several serious conflicts happening in a few weeks ago. As a result, I got into a big trouble. I am being regarded like a spark which can cause a huge fire in my family. It's like a bullshit. However, I have admitted my fault of all these stuffs. I am trying my best to endure all the nonsense made by my brother in my family. It's torturing.

2nd
My parents are having communication problems. My dad, a bad-tempered man who is used to command makes my mum, a submissive woman suffering. She gets weaker and weaker everyday due to all the housework and tuition. I am trying my best to reduce her physical burdens by helping her doing some housework. However, she gets tired and upset always because of my dad's bad attitude. This is one of the things that makes me feel very helpless. I wonder if I can do anything to change the situation.

3rd
I have been told about my family's financial condition.
I need to get mature and sensible and figure out what I should do while my younger brother still enjoys his life with his gf now. this is also the problem that I can only endure and take it easy.

I feel in pressure seriously...
please help, Lord.

感恩

过了很长的一段日子，我现在才终于打开这个blogger，更新更新。
由于小弟的英文不是很好，所以我想尽量用我熟悉的语言-华语来表达我这感恩的心情。
神，我很感恩。

对于那些认识我近况的朋友，我相信你们都挺了解我走过了的路。
无论如何，我想跟大家分享。分享那奇妙的恩典。

我原是一个没有责任感的男孩，我有着可爱的天真和可怜的无知。在中学，学业与家人好像没在我心里占不到50%的位置。（我相信很多少年人都是这样，我只是其中一个=P）
一直以来都没有方向，很多时后我问自己到底为什么会在这边。
缺乏成就感的我，在球场上建立自信心，在童军活动培养傲气。缺乏爱的我，到处寻人欢欣，寻人的认同。这种少年普通得不得了。
在寻求爱的路途中，我遇到了许许多多的问题，做了很多鸟事情，带给朋友很多粪问题。
那时的我很低落，很不自由。不自由可能是因为大头里面有很多的歪理，背上有很多负担。
东西就一直这样不停地循环发生。
过不久，我对这些事觉得累了。于是，转移方向去依靠神。依靠一个我只认识不久的神。从那时候开始，一切奇妙的变化开始了。

在F5的最后黄金时期，我善用时间，夺取我最满意的成绩。当了一整子的兵，认识各样的人，让我在心灵上何思想上成长了不少。之后，我自己不知不觉找到了方向，得到了引领，就企图想读KDU。虽然如此，那时的环境非常不鼓励我在那儿求学。
过后奇妙的得知有HSBM的存在，就毫不犹豫的转到哪儿上学。那时，我住宿在我的亲戚家。那儿有特别的优待。那就是免费的午餐和晚餐。（因为亲戚是开经济饭店的。）因此，我的生活费就这样减少很多。
哈哈！其实我在几天以内做了转校的决定。虽然那时我不知道前面会有什么问题在等着我去面对，但是我有那种莫名其妙的感觉说：别怕，不会有事的。那种莫名其妙的平安说服我就这样懵懵懂懂地转校，换了环境。过后我才察觉，我的路...就像是被铺平了似的，像是被策划一样，顺利得不像话。我那时候非常感恩，非常感动。神竟然为我这么普通，又败类的黄麒俊安排好去路，照亮了整片路。

在亲戚家呆足了十个月，我就因为某些缘故从亲戚家搬了出来自己住。于是，搬到了朋友家附近的一间房子住宿。感谢神，我受到朋友家人的帮助和恩惠，让我的生活变得比较轻松，比较快乐。他们的存在也让我的生活不会变的很乏味，反而非常非常的精彩。^^在途中，我父亲得了大病。让我非常的担忧和烦恼。由于我不是医生，唯有祷告祈求才能让我觉得没那么无助与不安。感谢神，在医学上来看，我爸的病情还在控制下。^^相信很快就会好起来。

我对我现在所拥有的一切，对神献上无法形容的感谢。以前的我根本没想到会有这样的一天，没想到我会变成这样的一个‘麒哥’^^。感恩，愿你继续赐福！=D

Don't you give up now.

Now, I am very confused.I'm confused of what perspective I should look my life in?
optimistic or pessimistic?
I don't have the idea of why we prefer to be sentimental and hopeless. Like to set ourselves in an "emo" status. However, I definitely find it uncomfortable and harmful to ourselves. Telling myself try not to be EMO but to cheer and be joyful in any situation. Thank God. He has changed me successfully. I find life joyful, peaceful and hopeful though I have encountered a lot of unpleasant problems recently.
I have searched a song 'What faith can do'. It actually inspires me more than I can imagine. It is like saying about the feeling of the helpless&hopeless people today. I am one of them of course.
I believe that we can get the helping hands to rise ourselves if we ask for it.
I believe that we can find the way of hope to go on our tough journey if we seek for it.
I believe our sincere prayers will be heard and answered even praying seems ridiculous and foolish to others.
I believe the broken heart can be renewed if we are willing to unlock the door in our heart and ask for the comfort from our Lord.
I believe our spirit will be purified if we repent and ask for the excuse from God.
So? There is nothing I should have to be afraid of for nothing can separate me from Him.

Let's keep believing and don't ever say "GIVE OFF"!