To be different

I have stopped working as a part-time helper in CS Computer Technology after May.
It is because of my laziness but I feel like I have other things more meaningful to do. That may be more beneficial to me. But I don't really have a clear planning for my June. I think I should figure out my aim before I could think of the plan.
Before Form 6, I had a revolution in my mind-set. Self-improvement had been replaced my self-inferior in my mind for that period. Thank God for changing me little by little. The sand has been gathered to form a small massif.
Now I am in my hometown. My attitude doesn't seem like previous. It has changed somehow negatively. The passion to find the possibility of improvement is fading slowly and silently. I feel really sad and helpless of that. I get back to the nest - safety zone which greatly discourages me to search for challenges. Sometimes, I would think having my normal and peaceful life, making no special changes do not seem like a mistake. But, time flies, I would ask myself - What have I done?.Nothing.
I have watched a tv program - good tv just now. The sermons given really inspired me to improve and get myself different from others. The pastor said:' The situation somehow may influence your passion..passion of job and other things else. ' I asked my self, is it impossible for me to make changes in my hometown? Can't I just overcome the surrounding influence to just get improved?
Nick Vujicic is an inspiring man without arms and legs. However, his life is terribly good. He has inspired thousand of people with his story, experience and attitude. In fact logically he should be the one who needs encouragement. But he overcomes the physical limits to live a life without limit. I know! I read his book. I got inspired seriously while I was reading his book. However, the effect got faded with time. I just realized I am still the same after a long time I have read about his story - his book. Feel dreadfully ashamed.
Well..it's time to cool down and think what I can do to help others or improve myself. May God bless me..I need another change in my life.

with everything we have

My blogger has been blank for several months. I feel nothing but a little bit shameful of myself.Finally, I take initiative to fill something over here.It's ridiculous to say that I have no time to write blogger during my long-term holidays as I could keep on posting before holidays.
Life is full of contradiction in fact. You would be willing to earn money, but at the same time, you are not happy to spend your time greatly for that. You wish to have more time for your own self.
Now, I feel like having no time to play after I started to work. Therefore I tell myself to cherish my youth by doing what I like and ought to do. By the way, money does matter this time.==

Back to the topic, I have heard a story about a man and a wife.
I am pretty sure that is a real story.^^
Most of the days, both of them quarrel with each other. The man expects the wife to do housework properly. He urged his wife to keep this and that. But the wife doesn't really have time to do everything. She has other things else to do. She feels burdened and stressful with her husband behavior. Most of the night, she cries sadly in secret while the man feels unsatisfied. This unwittingly becomes the unhealthy routine in their life.

Then man did nothing wrong. He just wants to have a comfortable home. That's why he urged his wife to fix up the mess. But the wife is unable to fulfill.
The wife did nothing wrong. She just looks for rest of mind and physics. But the man keeps on commanding.Why don't the man fixes the mess up? Let the wife feels free. Why don't the wife try to change her mind and not to magnify her sight to the problem?
Please try to do goods to others with everything we have.

Feel Good!

The days seem very shiny and hopeful after 21 Feb 2011 where my STPM result came out.
I am teaching Form 4 students mathematics every Monday night in Sri Nibong Tuition Center. Some of the them used not to pay attention somehow in my class. Perhaps I look like a student rather than a teacher.haha~
However, I still help them by guiding them how to solve the math problems which are very annoying and boring to them. This became my job.
Last night, as usual I teach them at Monday night. The air conditioner, old marker pan and dirty white board were still playing their instrumental roles in the small class. But there were something different. They all turned up in my lesson without being late.
It was what really shocked me first. I was pretty sure that they knew I have got a good STPM result cus I know Mr and Mrs Teoh would spread the good news to the students.
Teach..teach..teach..No one sounded disrespectful.
Before I finished teaching, one of the students voiced out something like : 'teacher, how could you improve your language?'.
I turned to him curiously,wondering how much he knows about me.
I held the marker pen with both of my hands and started to talk to them informally.
I realized that Sir has ever shared with them something about me before.
At the end of my lesson, the students shared about their problems that influence them from being hardworking in the class. Some of them wanted to have a change in their life. It sounded great indeed.
In order to get them ready for the examination, we decided to have revision tomorrow night.
I liked the way they talked to me and listened to me last night because it made me to feel greatly respected. The feeling was great and indescribable. I liked the way they dismissed last night, they joked to each other before leaving by saying :'ei..change change!'. Even thought that might seem like a joke rather than a encouragement, but I sincerely hope they really help themselves to improve.
Wish them all the best in future^^

( for those who have ever helped me to improve myself, I give thanks to each of everyone of you sincerely! )

Thanks giving

Time flies as usual, neither speeds up nor slows down.
And here I am, writing my post after a few days I received my STPM result.
Seriously, I give thank to God wholeheartedly. He is really...awesome!
Bible said : God use ordinary person to do his extraordinary plan.
I think I have done an extraordinary thing just a few days before. I got an excellent STPM result which has made my parents being proud of his son-me.
I hope the Lord in heaven would also feel being glorified.^^
I have never thought that one day I will achieve something big like this. Maybe, other people may find it reasonable, but ...it is a really big change in me just in these several years. I just can give thanks to him and praise him.
21/2 was the day I received my STPM result and also the last day for my dad to do radiotherapy. I wish that he will never get into the stupid radiotherapy room and being scanned by the stupid X-ray machine after that.
Thank God.For everything I have now, I give thanks to you!^^

Be still

It has taken me quite a long time to get rid of the habit of getting upset.

I have been involved in a complicated problem happened among my classmates last year. There was a classmate knowing nothing about the problem. For some purposes, I intended to talk with them. But they rejected me by saying that "sometime it is good to know nothing instead of everything." I was speechless of his opinion. Now, I could understand fully what he wanted at that time. He wanted to be irresponsible and free of the trouble. He wanted to live out of burden.
Sometime, being responsible is not an enjoyable stuff for a normal person. I have frequently got into the state of weariness in such situation I am having now. why? Because I am now responsible of this situation. The more I get responsible, the more I get worried and burdened. At the time, I couldn't withstand the pressure, I would blame in secret and I have ever thought to escape from that. I blame God! What on earth asked me to be responsible of such suffering situation! I was unsatisfied of the change that He gave me after F6 indeed. Why?
I kept thinking why everyday since I got responsible of that. Harboring the dissatisfaction especially at night time. The school days were nice and wonderful. I never felt in pressure on studying actually. I read bible and praise the Lord almost every night at the period. But somehow I feel in high pressure at home, I had stopped praying and even singing praises to Him in my bathroom. Cus I don't understand why.
I kept asking even though I know that knowing why couldn't really help me to get this situation better. I just wanted to blame showing that it is unfair.
Time flies. I got the answer...no...It's inspiration.
I read the book written by Nick Vujicic. I realized and believe that there must be a purpose for this problem happening though I don't really know about that.
Whatever problem happens, you just pray and praise.(believe that God has his own almighty plan beyond our expectation to show his mighty power and love.)

With this beautiful reason,I will Go with FAITH,PEACE,JOY,HOPE and LOVE^^
cus Bible says, Be Still and know that I am God.

Will be blessed.

Few days ago, I have watched GoodTV which has successfully inspired several times when I was in bad mood.

A sermon given.
A story was given to show how God bless people.
Spider is a good and smart hunter among the series of insect.
Its web is sticky and acts as an useful weapon for spider to hunt.
I have seen a scorpion being hunted by a spider in National Geography. 1st, scorpion unwittingly got stuck in the sticky web. It tried to get away of the web but finally it's whole body got wrapped up. The spider got itself slowly closer to the scorpion and injected poison in the scorpion's body.(to paralyze the scorpion) After several minutes, spider only got extra closer to the scorpion and brought it into spider's hole.

A question given. Why doesn't the spider get stuck by its own web?
This is because the feet of sniper produce oil which helps it to walk on the web without being stuck.
God bless this spider by giving it the ability to produce oil.

God bless everything in the world. He love His creation especially human.
I will be blessed. I believe! Hallelujah!

please help, Lord!

Thank God...
I was not in high pressure while I was studying Form6. I quite enjoyed the life in HSBM.
Thank God again...I am in high pressure in my family.I have encountered a lot of problems.

1st.
I am having bad relationship with my younger brother.
This caused several serious conflicts happening in a few weeks ago. As a result, I got into a big trouble. I am being regarded like a spark which can cause a huge fire in my family. It's like a bullshit. However, I have admitted my fault of all these stuffs. I am trying my best to endure all the nonsense made by my brother in my family. It's torturing.

2nd
My parents are having communication problems. My dad, a bad-tempered man who is used to command makes my mum, a submissive woman suffering. She gets weaker and weaker everyday due to all the housework and tuition. I am trying my best to reduce her physical burdens by helping her doing some housework. However, she gets tired and upset always because of my dad's bad attitude. This is one of the things that makes me feel very helpless. I wonder if I can do anything to change the situation.

3rd
I have been told about my family's financial condition.
I need to get mature and sensible and figure out what I should do while my younger brother still enjoys his life with his gf now. this is also the problem that I can only endure and take it easy.

I feel in pressure seriously...
please help, Lord.