To be different

I have stopped working as a part-time helper in CS Computer Technology after May.
It is because of my laziness but I feel like I have other things more meaningful to do. That may be more beneficial to me. But I don't really have a clear planning for my June. I think I should figure out my aim before I could think of the plan.
Before Form 6, I had a revolution in my mind-set. Self-improvement had been replaced my self-inferior in my mind for that period. Thank God for changing me little by little. The sand has been gathered to form a small massif.
Now I am in my hometown. My attitude doesn't seem like previous. It has changed somehow negatively. The passion to find the possibility of improvement is fading slowly and silently. I feel really sad and helpless of that. I get back to the nest - safety zone which greatly discourages me to search for challenges. Sometimes, I would think having my normal and peaceful life, making no special changes do not seem like a mistake. But, time flies, I would ask myself - What have I done?.Nothing.
I have watched a tv program - good tv just now. The sermons given really inspired me to improve and get myself different from others. The pastor said:' The situation somehow may influence your passion..passion of job and other things else. ' I asked my self, is it impossible for me to make changes in my hometown? Can't I just overcome the surrounding influence to just get improved?
Nick Vujicic is an inspiring man without arms and legs. However, his life is terribly good. He has inspired thousand of people with his story, experience and attitude. In fact logically he should be the one who needs encouragement. But he overcomes the physical limits to live a life without limit. I know! I read his book. I got inspired seriously while I was reading his book. However, the effect got faded with time. I just realized I am still the same after a long time I have read about his story - his book. Feel dreadfully ashamed.
Well..it's time to cool down and think what I can do to help others or improve myself. May God bless me..I need another change in my life.